tl;dr: Being a writer is like trying to juggle a dozen things at once – from actually writing to promoting, and from being content to battling self-doubt. It's all about finding your own groove, spotting when things get out of whack, and making sure you're not sacrificing everything for the sake of your craft.
Living the life of a writer is a constant juggling act–between actually writing and promoting, between your keyboard and your family and friends, between wondering why you ever started writing and feeling like you just wrote a masterpiece. The examples are endless, each with their unique way of weighing on your emotions. The key is to find your own personal balance that allows you to be satisfied with your writing while still living in the real world. I find myself going through ebbs and flows–sometimes I feel great about where I’m at, and other times I feel perpetually behind some self-fabricated timeline or losing a game that only exists in my head.
Being out of balance can feel off-putting. You can lose perspective, patience or desire, all of which can drag down your motivation to write, or in the worst case you might uncharacteristically lash out at others. Often times, this imbalance is brought on by a lie or series of lies–I just need to push though this week working hard to meet that deadline, I’ll eat better and workout next week. Although true, you might eat better and work out next week, the impact of foregoing those things today takes a toll on your writing, draining them of their importance.
Another popular one–I need to do some more research on this or that, the family can wait, or I’ll write the story after that. The problem is, the “research” never ends, and you’re stuck in the loop of research–you’re in a completely reactive mode not progressing your writing, not progressing your story, and not living your life. Your goals stay on the distant horizon, likely slipping further away, wasting your time and energy.
The key is seeing this when it happens. Or, preferably, seeing it before it happens, recognizing the signs. For me, it feels like I’m drifting without an anchor or rudder. Grab onto that unsettled feeling, whatever it is for you, and correct it before it takes root because real lasting damage can be done to your psyche, your career, and your relationships if left to fester for too long. It’s times like these when you need to step away, take a breath, and reflect on the rocks in your writing life. Be realistic with your commitments to writing–perhaps you’re pressing too hard or not hard enough, but make sure you’re focused on what’s important. This doesn’t mean that there aren’t times to sacrifice balance for some project, but make sure you’re aware you’re actually making a sacrifice and at some point you’ll need to hit the reset button. Either way, do what works for you to regain your balance, or you’ll most likely flame out or alienate those around you. So, if not for your own health and sanity, strive for balance for the sake of your friends and family.
I’m certainly no stranger to getting out of balance, but I’ve gotten better at seeing it coming on. How about you? Any tips or tricks to share?
You’re right, balance is important. I think it’s something that creative people have a hard time with. Especially, since the muse doesn’t always care to be on a set schedule. :)